


Stop Running, Start Flying

by SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock



Series: Supernatural As Told by Me: If Cas Was Always There [13]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, M/M, National Park, yellowstone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 03:40:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12225012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock/pseuds/SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock
Summary: Castiel and Gabriel keeping criss-crossing America in a seemingly random way. Dean is determined to cut them off before they can disappear. Because Dean needs Castiel. He needs to find him and he won't let him go without a fight.





	Stop Running, Start Flying

Castiel looked down at the lock screen on his phone. He’d been looking at it since Gabriel left, since he’d left him in the motel to go get them something to eat. Maybe even before that; he couldn’t remember. 

As the screen timed out and went back to black, Castiel hit the button again. Once more he was greeted with the picture of Dean smiling down at him while Castiel looked back up at him. 

It was a picture that Sam had taken when they weren’t looking and it was one of his favorites. Of course he had others. He had countless pictures of he and Dean curled up in bed, ones of him and Dean messing with the camera. He even had a few of Dean stark naked whether it was one he snapped of him fresh out of the shower or after a long session, blissed out and a smile on his face. 

But this particular one was something that showed just how happy he’d been. Just how happy they both had been. 

It had been a few weeks and Castiel couldn’t help but wonder if Dean had already moved on. Dean never omitted any truths from him so he knew that before him… Dean wasn’t exactly monogamous. He couldn’t help but want to know if he’d already picked that up again. But he was most certainly afraid of the answer. 

The screen went black once more, and just like before, he turned it on again. His thumb hovering over Dean’s face on the phone. 

It had taken everything in him to leave Dean. And Sam, for that matter. It was the hardest thing he ever had to do. It had been easier for him to leave his biological family than it was for him to leave his surrogate one and that in itself… it was scary for him. He knew how much he loved the two men but it still struck him just how much. 

When Gabriel walked into the room, finding his brother sitting there staring at his phone and in the same position he was when he left, he sighed. “Cas…” he said softly, making him look up. “Soup’s on, little brother,” he gestured with a weak smile. 

Castiel left his phone on the bed, the lock screen on for a moment longer as if to allow Gabriel a look at it before it shut off. Gabriel looked at Cas for a long moment as the raven-haired younger man stood in front of him to retrieve some of the cartons of Chinese food. 

He knew what he had been doing. He knew that Cas had been staring at the picture of him and Dean. He’d been doing it since they left the Winchester’s. At first Gabriel thought he would stop, he would realize he was only torturing himself. But Castiel had gone through picture after picture just looking at them. 

He waited until Castiel was sat on the edge of the bed and he walked over. He leaned his knees against the bedframe as he reached over and ran his fingers through his hair lightly, breaking off the little pieces and separating them and smoothing down the ones that stuck up only to have them spring up again. 

He was surprised as Castiel let him do it, seeming to enjoy it for a moment. Perhaps even ignoring it. He remembered when they were kids and Gabriel used to do the same thing for hours, combing his hands through his hair and calming him. 

Finally Castiel made a noise. “Gabriel, quit it,” he said as he waved him away, but it was half-hearted and Gabriel could see that it was too look strong.

Gabriel smiled. “I carried your ass across state lines, fed you, and rocked you to sleep. You can let me play with your hair,” he teased simply, no real guilt behind it as he grabbed his own food and sat at the head of the bed, knowing Castiel was only picking at the food. “Come on,” he gestured, patting his thighs. 

Castiel paused before he did as he was told, crawling up and laying his head on Gabriel’s thighs. He hated to admit it but having his brother there with him had been something of a godsend. He hated to think that that made him childish, but he needed him. He was sure that without his brother, he might not have survived the few weeks he’d been without the Winchester brothers. He would have been holed up and crying. Gabe kept him going. 

“How you feeling, kiddo?” he asked softly as he continued to run his hand over his hair. 

Castiel was quiet for a long while. He thought about lying, thought about telling his brother that he was okay. That he was getting better. But he knew that he couldn’t lie to Gabriel. Sure he’d been misleading in the past, had tried to keep things that he thought too much for him. But he couldn’t lie. Not about this. 

“Like my heart has been ripped to shreds,” he whispered as he slowly made an effort to eat some rice. 

Gabriel sighed softly. “We could always go back, you know. We could always find them. You said you know all the aliases Dean and Sam use. You know their credit cards–”

“I can’t go back, Gabriel…” he muttered. “I saw how Dean looked at me. I saw the…  _ fear _ in his eyes. I saw the way he reacted. It would hurt more to see him look at me like that again than this…”

Gabriel wondered about that, thinking that Castiel was hurting pretty bad but he wasn’t about to argue. Castiel knew what he wanted and he had to respect that. “If you’re sure…” he whispered. 

“I just wanna get some sleep and I wanna be on our way in the morning.”

 

Sam sat there with a map open in the passenger seat, a marker in his hand and the cap in his mouth. He had papers and papers of what Ash was able to give them on the car they had taken on the night they escaped and the places that were immediately outside it. 

He shook his head. “I don’t get it. If you look at this, their stops all look random,” he said. 

Dean shook his head in return. “Not random,” he said. 

“How do you know?”

“Because I looked at it when I got in the car. Here,” he muttered as he pointed to the map. “You mark off everywhere they’ve been?” he asked, all without looking at the map or taking his eyes off the road. 

Sam nodded. “Yeah. That’s why I’m saying it all seems random.”

“Trust me. It’s not. It’s unorthodox but look at the dates Ash put on ‘em and connect ‘em,” he told his brother. 

Sam paused before he played connect the dots, shaking his head as one of them backtracked. “Yeah this doesn’t make any sense, Dean,” he argued as he finished. 

“Yeah it does. Follow it up. They’re pinging back and forth. Coast to coast. Look at it,” he gestured again, his eyes flicking over as Sam followed it like he told him to. “But they’re doing more than just going back and forth–”

“They’re headed north,” he muttered. “But why are they doing it this way? This is a whole lot of gas and a whole lot of miles.”

“Because they’re taking cases,” he looked at Sam before putting his eyes back on the road. “I started seeing a pattern every time I saw that Ash had a new place for them. We’d look it up and I’d find an article buried online about something that wasn’t exactly…  _ natural _ .”

“So they’re hunting. Without us?” Sam asked, a chill running through his body. It wasn’t that Cas and Gabe couldn’t take care of themselves. They took care of Sam and Dean a lot of the time now. But the thought of them not hunting together made him nervous. What if something happened?

Dean nodded. “That’s why I’m cutting them off before they can criss-cross back. I know exactly where he’s heading,” he said with confidence, the car only getting a little faster. 

Sam frowned. “How could you know exactly? There’s no real pattern here. They stop where there’s cases.”

“Because I know my boyfriend,” he said simply. “Because we were going past Wyoming and Cas told me that when he was real little, his parents used to take them to Yellowstone every year. He said it held a special place in his heart for him and that… he said something about us going together. He’s there. I don’t know where they’re headed but Yellowstone is a stop. Trust me…” he muttered, speeding up.

“Dean,” Sam tried as they sped down a two lane blacktop. He looked up as Dean pushed ninety. When it came to something that was important, Sam usually didn’t say too much. And he knew that Castiel was important, but they were no good dead. “Dean… Dean, slow down–”

“We finally know where they are, Sam. Like on this moment know where they’re going to be. I’m not slowing down,” he shook his head. “I’m not missing them  _ again _ .”

“We will miss them if you crash or if you get pulled over!” he shot back. “You’re going way too fast.”

Dean clenched his jaw. The last couple of weeks hadn’t exactly been easy for him. With Cas gone and the knowledge that it was because of a look… it ate at him. If he’d just been… better, not let the stupid shit his father had beaten into him since he was a kid let rule his emotions. But when Castiel had told him he was without a soul, he couldn’t help the look that crossed his face. He couldn’t help the reaction. He didn’t know how it was possible. 

But he’d very quickly figured out that soul or not, he needed Castiel in his life. He needed his boyfriend by his side to make it through the day or else… what was the point? Why was he going on if it wasn’t for the man he loved? He had his brother but was it enough? Before he would have told anyone that was all he needed. Now… he wasn’t so sure. 

The speedometer went a couple notches below what he was pushing, though he wasn’t satisfied. He didn’t want to slow down. He didn’t want to give them another chance to get away. 

Dean had to admit that in any other circumstance, he’d be proud of Castiel. He managed to erase himself completely. He managed to completely disappear and keep off the map. He wondered why, briefly thinking that Castiel had done it as if he were afraid to be hunted. But he had to know that Dean would never hurt him. 

Then again… he had run from him. 

They’d gone back to Nebraska, stayed with Ellen and Jo while Ash ran backgrounds on the aliases that Castiel had been known to use. He’d been so good for about a week, using none that flagged in Ash’s algorithm. At first there had been nothing. But then the brothers had slipped up and Castiel had used one of the names he was accustomed to. They’d dropped off the map soon after but Dean knew Cas. He knew what kind of car they would pick, what names they would use, which backstreets they would take and it was enough to give Ash all they would need to find just a basis of where they’d been. And after seeing the pattern, he knew exactly where to go.

Dean and Sam had missed them a few times, getting to a motel and seeing it empty. It had made Dean more than pissed a few times. Once he even destroyed the room before he simply curled in on himself against the wall. 

Sam couldn’t do much besides be there for his brother. He knew Dean was hurting, he was too. He was hurting horribly after having both men ripped from his life. Castiel had so easily become a brother and he and Gabriel had been growing so close, becoming good friends. He didn’t know what to do with himself.

He’d felt so guilty, initially. He knew Dean was angry that he’d let the brothers slip away from him. He knew that Dean even blamed him for the first week or so. But then Dean seemed to find a way to tell him it wasn’t his fault, trying to make Sam feel better. But it wasn’t like it worked, not exactly. Cas and Gabe had still left and it was on him. Not only was it killing Dean that Cas was gone but it had broken up their tiny family. And after losing their father, losing more family wasn’t exactly what they were looking forward to. 

But instead of thinking about it, he chose to think about Dean. He chose to worry about whether or not his brother spent the night drinking his sorrows or if he actually made it to their beds that night. He was too busy making sure that Dean wasn’t driving himself crazy and would eat even when he told him he wasn’t hungry. He knew Dean was missing Cas… but this couldn’t go on much longer. They couldn’t keep chasing ghosts. 

They always managed to stay one step ahead. But they were getting closer, they both knew it. They were leaving a trail and the Winchester’s were on it. 

“We… we can’t lose them again, Sammy,” he whispered. 

“It’s the middle of the night. We won’t lose them again,” he said simply. 

Dean worried his lip between his teeth, thinking, hoping, that Sam was right.

 

Castiel woke to the sun shining in and assaulting his eyes. He groaned and rolled over and pressed his face into a warm body, smiling at the feeling a little. He nuzzled in, knowing exactly who that was as he felt arms wrap around him. 

“Morning, angel,” Dean whispered, kissing below his ear. 

Castiel giggled slightly at the feeling of it even if he was still tired and sleepy. “Morning, Dean,” he whispered back, his hands slipping up Dean’s side lovingly. “You look just as beautiful when you wake up as you do when we go to sleep,” he complimented. 

Dean grinned down at him. “Such a sweet talker,” he cooed as he leaned in and kissed him softly. “You’re the gorgeous one. Those pretty blue eyes that are bright enough to put the sky to shame,” he shook his head. “You’re too beautiful.”

“I don’t know if that’s a thing,” he smiled at his boyfriend. 

Castiel looked up at him for a long while as thoughts ran through his head about what was going on outside of the motel room. He tried to think of what case they were on, tried to remember the last thing that had happened. That was when he looked up at Dean and he smiled sadly. 

“This isn’t real, is it?” he whispered, his breath catching, almost feeling the need to cry but he knew doing so would wake his sleeping body in the real world. And this was such a beautiful dream. It couldn’t end yet. 

Dean gave him an equally sad smile in return as he cupped his cheek. “I’m afraid not, angel,” he breathed. “Not since you ran away from me. I really wish you hadn’t done that.”

Castiel swallowed hard, the tears threatening to come even though he was trying to stop them. “I had to.”

“You didn’t,” Dean shook his head. 

“You wouldn’t love me the same.”

“I will  _ always  _ love you the same,” Dean spoke softly as he brought his lips across Castiel’s. 

“How can I believe that when you’re just a figment of my imagination? A dream that I wish was real. You don’t exist. You’re not my Dean. How can I know things like that are true when I don’t know what is fact and fiction anymore?” he choked out. 

Dean seemed to smile. “Because you know me, Cas. You know me better than anyone. You can tell yourself that I don’t love you. You can tell Gabriel and yourself that I’ll never look at you the same. But we both know that whatever you may be whether it’s human or it’s the opposite… you’re not running from me. You’re running from this. You’re running from whatever you are. Because you also know I’ll want to know. I’ll want to help you find out what you are. I might even dig when you don’t want me to. But I’ll find out the truth. And you’re terrified of that. You’re truly terrified of how I will look at you then…” Dean went on. 

Everything Dean was telling him was true, that much he knew. He knew that because they were his thoughts, his feelings. He would hate to have Dean tell him he still loved him and then have Dean leave when he found out what he truly was. He didn’t know what he was and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He wasn’t sure he wanted Dean to know. 

“Dean…”

“I’m not sure how I’d take it,” the dream version whispered honestly. “I don’t know what I’ll do. I can’t give you that because I don’t know what you are. It might take getting used to, whatever it is. But I love you and I can tell you that I’m looking for you.”

Castiel looked up and frowned. “What? What are you talking about? Dean’s not looking for me,” he said, those words truly contradicting what he knew. He pulled back, looking at Dean with a sudden confusion on his face. “Dean’s… he’s hunting or… he’s shacked up with someone he met at a bar. This is… you’re just a dream.”

“I would never do that,” Dean said as if he’d been hurt. “You’re my angel,” he clarified. “You’re the only one I want. And I’m coming for you, Cas. Because I need you in my life. So please… just stay where you are.”

Castiel shook his head. “No. You’re not real. You’re not real,” he repeated like a mantra. 

“Cas,” Dean tried. “Cas…”

“Cas!”

“Cas!”

Castiel popped up as he finally registered the voice yelling at him. It was familiar to him but it certainly wasn’t Dean’s.

His eyes adjusted to the room, looking around. Gone was the warm light of the single bed motel room. Back was the rundown wallpaper of the double that was clearly less taken care of than the one he’d been dreaming about. 

He didn’t have to look down next to him to know that Dean was no longer there. He didn’t have to put his hand down to know that the warmth of another person was gone and it would be cold on the side of the bed Dean always slept on; the side closest to the door so that he could always be the first to protect Cas. 

He looked up at Gabriel with a confused look on his face. “What’s going on?” he asked, his entire being still adjusting to the suddenness of being awakened. 

“You were shouting in your sleep, baby bro,” Gabriel said as he leaned down, concerned. “You kept saying ‘you’re not real, you’re not real’... I thought it best to wake you up.”

As Castiel’s body finally adjusted, he realized that even with Dean holding him in his sleep, his rest was far from restful. He, somehow, felt worse than he did when he went to sleep. He was drained like he was somehow doing something while he was laying in bed with his eyes closed. He wondered how that was possible. 

“Five more minutes?” he asked his brother. 

“‘Fraid not, kiddo. You wanted an early checkout time and we’ve got one. You wanted to go to Yellowstone and that’s where we’re headed. We need to be out in the next hour. Besides, we’re almost there,” he smiled before he kissed the top of his head. “Come on. You get the first shower while I go get coffee. It’ll make you feel better.”

Castiel groaned and had the urge to flop back on the bed but instead he got up and moved toward the bathroom. 

 

Dean slowly awakened, clutching something in his hand as he did. He didn’t remember falling asleep. He remembered Sam coaxing him out of the driver's seat finally but he didn’t think it was to sleep. He hadn’t been tired. 

Truth be told, he hadn’t gotten any real sleep in days. He found it difficult to sleep without Cas there in his arms. His sleep was fitful and full of tossing and turning. He needed his love to be able to get through just about everything, he was learning. 

“Hey,” Sam muttered. “You conked out, there. Guess you were really tired…”

But that was the thing… he hadn’t been. 

Okay, that wasn’t exactly true. Without Castiel by his sides he hadn’t gotten a night of restful sleep in weeks. But he’d never been more awake. 

He tried to think back to just a little while previous, sitting in the passenger seat of the Impala; thumbing the chain that he was holding in his hands. He tried to remember feeling heavy eyelids or a falling sensation of going to sleep. He tried to recall not being able to keep himself awake… but there was none of that. 

Instead, it seemed to be replaced with something akin to a siren song. He remembered being almost… called upon. It felt like a voice had lulled him to sleep as if spelled there. It seemed so weird to think about,  _ too _ weird to think about. So when his brother asked him how he slept, he didn’t give an answer beyond a noncommittal grunt. 

He looked out the window as he remembered his dream. It almost brought a smile to his face the way Castiel looked in the bed, sun shining in through the window to make his skin glow. He wasn’t completely sure but he was almost positive that the motel they were in was one they’d been in when they first got together. One of the first mornings they woke with each other. 

He recalled telling the dream version of Cas how much he loved him and how he was looking for him. But other than that he couldn’t remember much else. It was strange, just how real the dream had felt. He wished he could dive back into the dream world and have more of his boyfriend while he waited to have him for real. 

“How much longer?” he asked Sam.

“Ten minutes?” he wondered. “Been driving all night. Driving pretty fast too–”

“Drive faster,” Dean ordered. 

Sam made a face but instead of arguing, he simply sped up. 

 

Gabriel looked up at Cas as he finished packing. They didn’t have much, not without the guns and the weapons. Castiel still carried some for basic protection. But other than that… it wasn’t anything to write home about. So their packing was fairly quick.

“You ready, kiddo?” Gabriel asked as he slung his duffel bag over his shoulder. 

Castiel briefly cast his eyes around the room to make sure he got everything. He couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander back to his dream. Dean had told him to stay where he was, that he was coming to find him. He couldn’t believe the urge he had to listen. 

He wanted to believe Dean was on his way to come and get him, to come take him back into his arms and tell him he loved him. He wanted that. But he knew that Dean wasn’t. Dean couldn’t have been on his way. He knew better than that. 

He wished Dean was there with them, though. He’d talked about Yellowstone a few times and how he didn’t understand if Dean had been across the country so many times that he’d never been. He would have thought it the perfect place to take a couple kids but then again, Dean and Sam didn’t have conventional childhoods. Their father only thought in hunts. 

He’d wanted to show Dean the natural beauty, maybe even hike with Sam. He knew Dean didn’t like planes so he knew that could be like their getaway, their vacation. But now… now it was just a reminder that he hadn’t gotten the chance. 

But he still wanted to see it. One last time before they crossed the border. Castiel knew they couldn’t go home and moving around the country and taking hunts was just a recipe for disaster. They knew that sooner or later both sets of brothers would be on the same case and it would only hurt. 

So Canada it was. They knew there was no chance of really worrying about it. The Winchester’s didn’t have passports and they didn’t like to go outside of America anyway. This would be good for the both of them. A fresh start and new places. Maybe they could do some good somewhere else. 

He looked to his brother. “Yeah. I think I’m ready,” he whispered. “Just let me brush my teeth.”

 

Dean moved into the building, going straight to the counter. He didn’t even bother waiting for Sam, not when they were still here. He knew they were… they had to be. This was the motel closest to the park and Dean knew it was a pretty good shot if not a perfect one. “I need you to tell me what room a Jimmy Vokan is in.”

Sam looked perplexed as he came up. “How do you know he’d use that name?”

“What don’t I know about him? James is his middle name… and he likes anagrams,” he said, catching Sam’s look. “He’s a weird little dude,” he gave as explanation. 

Sam couldn’t help but chuckle a little at just how much Dean knew about Cas. 

The man, having just looked up, gave them a look. “Sorry, boys. I can’t give out information like that.”

Dean’s face darkened. “Listen to me. I have been all over this god forsaken country. I have come up short and empty handed more times than I can count. Now this guy is very important to me. More important than your insignificance will ever be. And if he’s gone I need to know so that I can be on my way,” he said. He noticed the guy looking like he was about to get an attitude but he grabbed him by his tie and pulled him nearly over the counter. “You gotta real choice on your hands, buddy. You can either tell me what I wanna know or you can tell me nothing. And when I figure out what I need to know on my own… and I find out he was here… I’m coming back and beating you so bloody even your own mother wouldn’t recognize you,” he growled. 

Sam, usually, would have stopped his brother. He would have pulled him back, told him that something like that wasn’t how they did things. But he was just as desperate to find the other set of brothers as Dean was. So he let Dean go. 

The guy gulped audibly. “Th-they checked out already. ‘Bout forty-five minutes ago,” he said with a shaky voice. 

Dean’s face only stood to darken more but he let the guy go, knowing he needed to punch something but it couldn’t be his face. No, he couldn’t get the cops called on him. Not now. Not at this point. 

He walked away and toward the door. He threw it open, pacing a little as he breathed in the air as he tried to cool down. He couldn’t believe he’d missed them  _ again _ . He couldn’t believe that Cas kept slipping through his fingers at every single turn. No matter what they did the brothers were one step ahead. 

“Dean, we just gotta get back on the road. You said something about Yellowstone. Maybe they’re already there.”

“You think we’re going to find them at a freaking national park?” Dean hissed. 

“I think it’s worth a shot.”

Dean shook his head. He was about to punch something. What, he didn’t know. He brought his hands up as if to slam them down against against the glass that was out front but… he caught the reflection of something and he spun around. 

There, sitting in the parking lot, was a blue toyota camry. Now, usually, it would have been anything but spectacular. But he remembered something about a blue toyota being stolen right after they’d found the car from Mississippi dumped in Iowa. Again, it might have been mighty unspectacular… if it wasn’t for the simple fact that the car he was looking at had Iowa plates. 

Dean moved quickly, breaking into a sprint like he was running from something. 

“Dean… Dean, where are you going?” Sam called as he moved after him. 

“They’re still here,” he called back. 

 

Castiel came out of the bathroom and reached for his bag, watching as his brother looked at the little card that sat on the table about the newest  _ Casa Erotica _ they had on pay-per-view. He scoffed. “As if you need to watch that,” he lifted an eyebrow. 

Gabriel looked up with a grin. “But this one has a plot,” he said as he put it down and stood so that he could follow his brother out of the motel room. 

Castiel chuckled. “Aren’t they all supposed to have plot?” he asked as he opened the door. 

Now what Castiel had prepared himself to see was the blue toyota parked directly in front of their room when he opened the door. The car always glaring at him as if telling him that he’d done bad by stealing it. What he hadn’t expected to see was someone blocking the way out. And for that someone to be a wall of a man. 

Castiel’s heart stopped as he recognized the pendant hanging around the mans neck. He’d know it anywhere. His eyes trailed up slowly, seeing stubble he recognized and lips he remembered. He saw a nose he’d kissed too many times to count before he got to bright green eyes that were staring down at him. 

“Dean…” he whispered, his eyes wide in shock, not being able to believe that Dean was right there in front of him. Part of him wondered if this was another dream. But he knew he was awake this time. 

Dean’s jaw clenched a little. He was unbelievably happy that he finally had Castiel there and in front of him. He couldn’t even communicate how much it meant to him. But he was also pissed. 

Dean advanced on him, Castiel walking backwards and dropping his bag as if out of fear. He didn’t think Dean would hurt him. He hoped. But he had this small feeling, small question, in the back of his mind…asking himself what he would do if Dean came back to hunt him? Would he let him? Would he be able to hurt Dean in defense? Would he even fair in a fight?

As soon as they were in the room, Sam stepped in and closed it behind him, suddenly guarding it like he was blocking any chance of their escape. He gave Gabriel a look as if all he wanted to do was hug his friend, tell him he was glad he was okay. And yet the squinting eyes said he was oh so angry at him. 

“I’ve been beaten before,” Dean said lowly as he continued to back the other up. “I’ve been beaten, bruised, bloody– hell I’ve even been shot and stabbed a few times,” he muttered. “I’ve been yelled at, kicked, and even put down so badly that I believed that was where I belonged. I’ve been hurt before, Castiel… but nothing has ever hurt more… than you leaving,” he finished as Castiel’s back hit the wall, giving him nowhere else to go. 

Castiel sucked in a breath, his eyebrows raising at the mention of Dean being hurt so frequently. When his back hit the wall, he gave a small gasp as if wondering what else Dean might say to him. Would he swing? Would he call him names? Would he yell? He couldn’t be sure…

“I–”

“No… Don’t speak,” he shook his head. “I know why you left. I read your note,” he said. “And it was a load of bullshit.”

Castiel’s face set into one of anger. Dean couldn’t act like he was stupid. He’d seen the way the hunter looked at him when he told him he had no soul. He saw the way Dean looked at him as if he wondered how they were going to get passed that. 

“Dean, you–”

“I said don’t speak,” he said, raising his voice a little as he bracketed his head with his hands, leaning on the wall behind the other. “Do you know where I’ve been the past three weeks, hm?” he asked, though he wasn’t expecting an answer. “I’ve been looking for you, Castiel. Because you  _ left _ . Because you took a look so way out of mother fucking proportion that you left me wondering how the fuck I was going to wake up in the morning!” he said. “I was fine before I met you, you know? I was content in what I was and who I was. I didn’t need anything else. And then we met… and I knew that everything else I’d ever known was practically subpar to what I had with you. Because I love you, Cas. I love you more than I ever thought it possible to love another. And I don’t give a shit what you are or what you think you are. I fucking love you, Cas. And you just left. After all that preaching about love and sacrifice… you left me standing in the middle of Mississippi… wondering where the hell to go from where I was.”

Castiel felt tears when the other began. He’d finally hoped that he could stop crying over this. But apparently that wasn’t so. He sniffled and brought his hands up to wipe his eyes before he crossed his hands over his chest. 

“I saw the way you looked at me, Dean. There was disgust in your eyes. You thought I was a freak–”

“It was confusion, Cas! Did you ever stop and think that maybe I was dealing?” he asked. “Because I was so confused as to why you couldn’t talk to me, why you were emotionally unavailable. I thought you were getting ready to break up with me, getting ready to split. Didn’t think I might have actually been right,” he scoffed. “And then to top it off I’m working through the fact that I was pretty sure my Dad sold his soul for me and I don’t have my boyfriend to talk to about it because he’s doing everything but looking me in the eye. And then he goes and tells me he tried to do the same thing my Dad succeeded in. That he tried to sell his soul for me only to find out that he doesn’t have one…” he shook his head. “Excuse me for being a little confused at that moment!”

“You were never going to understand,” Castiel countered. “I was saving us the trouble. You were always going to look at me like that. You were never going to understand that I didn’t have one. You were never going to understand that I tried to sell my soul for you.”

“You’re wrong,” Dean said simply. “If you’d stayed long enough to talk to me, you’d have figured that out, Cas,” he whispered. “I was so excited to come home and see you that night. I was so excited to resolve everything because I finally understood both of your sides. I understood what you were going through because of the case and I finally understood that choice,” he sighed. “The demon… before she fixed everything, she was trying to sell me on selling mine. Getting my Dad out of hell… and goddammit if I didn’t almost take her up on that offer. And you know what? The whole time I’m thinking that the only reason I don’t is because of you.”

Castiel’s eyes widened more, if that was even possible. “M-me?” he asked. There had been a time when Castiel had thought that given the choice, Dean would pick his father over Cas hands down. 

“Yes, you. Because you are everything to me. Because you are this beautiful little ball of sunshine and light and you’re brilliant and just dumb enough to pick me, to love me. And I knew that you deserved better than a decade if I was what you wanted. That if I was going to take care of you… I was doing it for the long haul, angel,” he whispered as he moved his hands and cupped his cheeks. “And then it got me thinking that if it was you down there… shit, I know I would have taken the deal. Because you’re right, Cas. Ten years with you would have been better than one second without. And I’ve had a lot of time without you these last three weeks.”

Castiel’s tears came in steady streams now as Dean just kept professing his love for him. He felt his heart beating faster as he tried not to relish in the touches that Dean was giving him. He tried to shake his head, look up at him through tears. “You can’t love me,” he whispered. 

“I do…”

“You can’t. I’m not human… I don’t have a soul–”

“Demons lie, Cas,” he whispered. 

“Why would he? He could have had my soul… a done deal, why would he have lied?” he asked. “It doesn’t make any sense.”

“So we figure it out, angel. We figure it out and we keep on trucking because, frankly, I don’t know that you need it. If it’s so important, then why hasn’t anyone noticed, huh? You’re perfect, angel. You’re perfect with it or without it.”

“You can’t love me,” he tried again. “I’m a freak…”

“Don’t talk about my boyfriend that way,” he whispered as he finally leaned down and brought Castiel into a deep kiss. 

The kiss was anything but unwelcome. Castiel kissed back in earnest, feeling how desperate he was to have that kiss. Because Dean was here and this wasn’t a dream. This was Dean actually here, holding him in his arms and kissing him like his life depended on it. Dean had chased him down, chased him across the country just to do this. 

To say that Dean was happy to have Castiel back in his arms was an understatement. Weeks he’d been without him and it had felt hard to continue on without him. The hard part was coping with that. He’d never had anyone that affected him that deeply. It scared him. But he knew pushing it away was the opposite of what he needed to do. He needed to chase it. 

Sam couldn’t help but smile at the way they kissed. Sure, his brother making out with his boyfriend was never something he was all about watching but he knew how badly these past few weeks had been for his brother. He was unbelievably happy for him. 

Gabriel felt his shoulders relax. The last couple of weeks had been equally hard on Cas. He’d been moody and pushing off eating. He only wanted Dean, Gabriel knew that. But he was too stubborn to turn tail and go back. Really, Dean finding them was a god send.

Suddenly Gabriel felt arms wrap around him and a chin rest on his head. He chuckled, knowing who it was without much thought. “Sam… what are you doing?” he asked with a smile. 

Sam smiled. “I missed you,” he said softly. “You’re just as much my family as Cas is and you leaving was so not cool, man,” he muttered before he held him tighter. “I was so worried about you both,” he whispered. 

Gabriel paused before he hugged Sam back, burying his nose in his shoulder. “I’m sorry we ran out on you. He said let’s go–”

“And he’s your brother… so you listened. I get it. If it was Dean, I might have done the same. Just… next time Cas has a crazy idea like that, try to talk him down. We kinda suck without you guys.”

Gabriel laughed softly and hummed. “Yeah, same.”

Dean finally pulled back from kissing Cas when they both needed breath. He looked down as Castiel panted slightly, watching his chest rise and fall rapidly. “Please tell me you’re not going to leave again. Please tell me you’re not going to run away again.”

Castiel looked up at him through his lashes. “You’re sure about this? You don’t care? About any of it?” he whispered. 

“Any of it, angel. I don’t care about any of it. I care about you and I want you by my side like the selfish guy I am. I want you and I need you and I tracked you down. You think I would do that just to tell you that you don’t mean the world to me?” he asked. 

Castiel smiled softly before he slipped his arms up and wrapped them around his neck, pressing their bodies flush. “I’m… I’m so sorry I left,” he whispered. “I was just… so scared you wouldn’t love me anymore.”

“Shh,” he shushed as he ran his hands up and down his back in a loving way, calming him. “It’s behind us. I promise,” he breathed against his shoulder, moving to kiss his neck. “We’re here, we’re together, and I don’t care about anything else.”

Castiel’s tears came once more and he cursed his emotions but it was okay. Because they weren’t sad anymore. He wasn’t sad anymore. They were happy tears. He had Dean and that was enough for him. 

 

Castiel’s body was trembling slightly as his breath hitched. His eyes were hooded and his entire being felt like he was on fire. He couldn’t believe that he was there, that they were there. It felt surreal. 

He’d ran from Dean, that much had been true. He’d ran and thought that they couldn’t be together anymore. Briefly, he thought about how Dean would fair with someone else. He thought about hot he would fair with someone else. Would they be as happy? Happier? He couldn’t know. He didn’t want to know. 

But now that he had Dean back in his arms, Dean whispering sweet nothings to him, he knew that there never would be another. They would have never moved on from one another. There was no one else for them. They belonged together. They belonged with each other. And at the moment… it seemed like Dean belonged inside him. 

As Dean bottomed out inside him, Castiel tilted his head back and moaned, his voice higher than it was regularly. “Oh god,” he whimpered as he gripped his boyfriend, his fingernails digging into his skin. He was sure he was leaving scratch marks down his back and yet he couldn’t care. It didn’t seem like Dean did. 

In fact it seemed to spur Dean into giving him a kiss so deep that he had his head pressed as far back as the pillow would allow, their bodies locked together in something so sensual, so loving… that it left them both breathless. It left them both reeling and wanting more of each other but this was the most they could give. At that moment, nothing mattered besides melting into one another. 

“I love you,” Dean whispered, determined to say it over and over until Cas heard every one. Until Cas lost count and he truly remembered why he ran away with him in the first place. Because this love between them, this… this  _ bond _ , it deserved recognition. 

He trailed his fingers down his body, touching his skin softly as he waited for Cas to adjust to him. “I love you so much, angel,” he whispered against his skin. 

Castiel whimpered as he clung to him. “I love you too, Dean. I love you so much,” he whispered. “Move, baby, please.” 

Dean nodded, slowly beginning to move inside him. He groaned at the feeling of Castiel’s walls hugging his cock, pulling him back as he tried to pull out. It was like magic how they fit together. But of course the real magic was the way this felt. The way they were able to drag the best feeling out of each other. 

Dean kept the pace slow. He wanted to take his time and enjoy this, enjoying finally having Cas back to himself. He didn’t even know how long they’d been tangled like this. Since they’d left Sam and Gabriel in favor of their own room but Dean had no clue how long ago that had been. 

He wanted to draw moans he hadn’t heard, words he hadn’t had the pleasure of listening to— he wanted to draw everything from Cas he’d missed in the past few weeks. Because he wanted to savor every bit. He had no clue how much he took for granted until he no longer had it. 

Castiel’s legs hitched up by his hips, begging Dean to go deeper with him, begging for more even without words. 

Castiel was thankful for Dean going slow with him, the familiar burning of being stretched not unpleasant, though. He took it in earnest because at least he could feel Dean there. 

But as Dean continued, he realized slow wasn’t what he was looking for. He wanted more;  _ needed _ more. “Dean,” he moaned. “Ngh… please, faster,” he mumbled as his body moved, trying to cant his hips down to meet Dean’s to take him deeper. 

“Faster, angel?” Dean breathed in a husky voice that had Castiel feeling the arousal pooling at the small of his back in a dull ache and he arched toward him. “You sure you can handle that?”

Just Dean’s voice had him wild. What really sent him over was the feeling of Dean’s teeth catching his ear before he licked at the shell. 

Castiel moaned uncontrollably as Dean sped up. He tried to find purchase, his hands everywhere. They went from Dean to the sheets to the headboard and back to Dean but no matter how much he held on, no matter what he held on to, the feeling was still so overwhelming. 

Dean was out of breath, holding himself up as Castiel let out erotic moans of ecstasy that should have been illegal in all fifty states. It was almost too much for him to handle with how it had him moaning in response. 

He’d barely noticed when the headboard started hitting the wall, notifying anyone on the other side of it exactly what they were doing. Of course if Castiel’s moans of ‘harder’ and ‘oh god, right there’ weren’t an indication, he didn’t know what was. 

Before long Castiel was begging him not to stop as Dean dragged the head of his cock over Castiel’s sweet spot, getting him to call his name every goddamn time. It was criminally hot. And Dean milked it for all it was worth. 

When Castiel came, he let out such a call that Dean nearly thought that his ears would ring. That was how high his voice went. But before long he fell back to the bed, collapsing as Dean finished right there with him, the entire thing a hazy experience by the end. 

Castiel held Dean there on top of him, smiling softly as he panted and nuzzled into his hair. He was glad to have Dean there on top of him. It seemed silly but one of the things he’d missed the most was Dean’s pure body heat. The way heat just rolled off of him in waves like the only mission he had in the world was to keep Castiel warm. 

And then guilt washed over him. He never would have been absent of that feeling if he hadn’t run off. He’d worried Dean. He’d told him he couldn’t be loved and was convinced that as the truth. He never would have known what it felt like to be without Dean again if he had just stayed put an hour longer. Talked to Dean—

“Mm, you got the wheels turning in that pretty little head of yours, angel,” he whispered as he slowly pulled out of him, throwing the condom away before he moved and brought Castiel’s body to his. 

“How do you do that?” he whispered back, his voice more gravelly than usual from the way that he’d been screaming for Dean just moments ago. 

“Do what?” Dean asked. It was just them in the room, big enough for other people to be in it. But in that space, in that moment… their hushed tones were just to each other and they liked it that way. 

Castiel moved closer, tangling their legs. “You always know when something is on my mind. You knew where to come looking for me. You knew where I’d be. How?” he wondered. 

Dean smiled down at him softly, his fingers moving up and down his back. “I’d like to think it’s because I know you,” he said softly. “Because I love you, Cas. Because I love everything about you. I can always tell when you’ve got too much going on up there. I can always tell when you need to talk even if you don’t want to,” he offered. “I knew you would be in Yellowstone because I saw the pattern. I saw you guys pinging back and forth and I saw you heading north. I remembered that you told me you wanted to go there, all of us. I just remembered, angel,” he smiled. 

Castiel looked into green eyes, his own irises flicking back and forth as he found pure honesty in his eyes. And of course, why would he find anything else? 

Before he knew it, he launched at Dean, kissing him hard and holding him there to his own body tightly. “I love you,” he whispered against his lips. 

Dean chuckled softly into the kiss when he suddenly had Castiel practically on top of him, but he just held him there, glad to have him back there. This was where they belonged: in each other’s arms. By each other’s sides. 

“I love you too,” he whispered back, humming. 

“I’m sorry, you know, Dean. I’m really sorry I ran. There was just so much going through my head. And then I told you and I was already so afraid that you wouldn’t love me the same once you knew–”

Dean cut him off with another kiss. “You don’t have to apologize anymore, Cas. Really. I forgive you. If the situation was reversed I might have done the same thing. I understand why you did it. I wish you hadn’t but I understand why. Usually… I’d be one to hold a grudge. Say that it was bullshit and be mad at you. But I can’t,” he shook his head. “Because I spent about a week and a half being mad at you before I realized that needing you far outweighed being mad… and then finding you outweighed everything else.”

Castiel smiled softly. He remembered when the first got together, when Dean had whisked him away from the life he no longer wanted… Dean had warned him that he wasn’t one for feelings. He wasn’t one to proclaim love and shout it from the rooftops. He tried to tell him that he wasn’t much for affection either. But all that seemed to have changed. Of course… it was usually just the two of them. 

“I got you something,” Dean said before Castiel could. 

Castiel lifted an eyebrow. “I ran away, caused you strife and you got  _ me _ something? I feel like this should be the other way around…” 

Dean shook his head and looked down. “You ran because of exactly who I am. You expected me to freak out, think you inhuman– something. And you were right. In the first initial moment, I wondered if you’d deceived me and you were really something else,” he admitted quietly. “I didn’t get the chance to tell you that in the same moment I knew you weren’t anything other than the guy I fell in love with overnight,” he chuckled. “Don’t tell Sam or Gabe I said that. They’ll make fun of me,” he said, smiling when Castiel laughed. “Sam and I were going and going and we were looking for you both. We walked by a small kind of… out of place jewelry store and I found something that I thought was perfect.” 

As Dean moved from the bed and to the table to his leather jacket, Castiel propped up on his elbows to look at him, a tilt to his head. “You bought me jewelry?” he asked, that not having been something he thought Dean would ever do. It almost sounded like every heterosexual television show where the guy messes up so he buys the girl a bracelet, a ring… but he knew that wasn’t this. This was from Dean’s heart, he could tell on his face. 

Dean smiled, a tint to his cheeks. “It’s nothin’ big, really,” he tried to shrug off. He held the chain in his fist, not giving it away to Cas yet as he came back to the bed. 

Castiel sat up. “You didn’t have to do that, Dean. Really. After everything–”

“Quit it,” he interrupted. “I wanted to. Because you deserved to have something to always remind you that I love you. Now close your eyes.”

Castiel smiled, nodding, before he did as he was told and closed his eyes, waiting. He felt Dean shift closer, felt his arms brush his shoulders and his boyfriend lean over. Immediately Castiel knew that it was a chain of some sort. But as something sat slightly heavier on his chest, he knew that it wasn’t  _ just _ a chain. 

“Alright. Open,” Dean said with a grin. 

When Castiel opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Dean, smiling at him. He smiled at him expectantly as if waiting for me to see this amazing thing he’d done, the amazing thing he’d gotten him. 

When he looked down, his breath caught in his throat and he nearly felt tears once more– he really needed to get a handle on his emotions. There, sat against his chest, was a pair of silver wings that connected to an equally beautiful silver chain. They were intricate in their design, like someone had taken the time to etch each pretty line. 

“Do you like them?” Dean asked, scratching the back of his neck as Castiel remained quiet. “You know, I just thought… you’re named after one and I call you angel so I thought… you’d need your wings–”

Dean was cut off as Castiel pounced on him, throwing his whole body into his as he kissed him even deeper than before. 

The kiss had Dean reeling back, but he caught his lover, refusing to drop him at any cost. No, instead he held him there in his lap, kissing him like his life depended on it. Like it would be the last time but he got to relish in the fact that it most certainly wasn’t. 

“You are the most perfect man… Of course I love them, Dean. I mean… how could I not? They are perfect. The most perfect thing you ever could have gotten me. I love them so much. I love you so much,” Castiel whispered as he moved and wrapped his arms around him tightly. 

Dean smiled. “I love you too, angel. My angel…”

  
  


“Cas, quit it,” Dean muttered but in true Castiel fashion, he just kept going. “Babe, I don’t need sunscreen,” he huffed, trying not to pay attention to Gabriel and Sam laughing a few feet from them. 

“The last time we went some place really sunny, you burned,” he said, talking about an all day grave roll, Dean ending up so burned that he’d not been able to move during sex and even when Castiel offered to ride him, he’d just said ‘ow, ow, ow’ over and over. 

Dean pouted. “That was one time! And it was in the middle of Texas heat. That’s different,” he insisted before he grabbed his wrist. “I swear to god if you put one more coat of that crap on my nose…” he trailed off, his threatening to Castiel like a kitten trying to roar. 

Castiel smirked before he leaned forward and kissed him. “You’re already done, Mr. Tough Guy,” he chuckled, scrunching his nose. 

Dean softened at just how adorable he found that. “You know what—” he cut himself off as he pulled Castiel in by his wrist and leaned forward, nuzzling his face into his boyfriend's face to smear some of it on him. 

Castiel giggled. “Dean. Ew, come on! Stop!” He said as he tried half-heartedly to get away. 

Sam chuckled and shook his head as he watched the couple laugh and tease each other. “Right back to where they left off,” he muttered to Gabriel. 

Gabriel smiled. “Yeah. It’s disgusting, really. But it’s a good disgusting.”

Sam laughed at Gabriel’s analysis and while he agreed, he didn’t have to say it out loud. He simply turned and looked out at the waterfall. 

Where they were standing, a low wooden fence kept anyone who followed the rules from going over or going past the barrier. With the waterfall in the background, it really was a beautiful view. It might have even been romantic if the couple didn’t insist on Gabriel and Sam coming with them. 

Coming to Yellowstone after everything had been Castiel’s idea. He said that he and Gabriel had been planning on it anyway and now that they were all together again, he wanted to do something special. So they’d packed into the Impala and headed out first thing in the morning. They’d already gotten breakfast and seen the Yellowstone Caldera. It really was a wonderful experience, they had to admit. Spending time the four of them usually involved blood and death. This was different. 

Once Castiel was able to get Dean to stop, short of breath from laughing, he smiled at them. “I want a picture,” he said. 

The three groaned. None of them were particularly fond of pictures being taken of them. There were a few exceptions but most of the time pictures were taken spur of the moment. Getting them to pose for one was like trying to trap a hellspawn… scratch that, trapping a hellspawn was much easier. 

“Come on, Cas. You said you wouldn’t do this,” Sam whined. 

Castiel rolled his eyes. “You know I don’t particularly like my picture taken either but when is the next time we are going to get to go on vacation?” He asked. “I want to commemorate!”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Aren’t your memories enough?” He teased. 

Castiel lifted a brow at him before he squinted at them as if challenging them to try to get out of it. 

“He’s giving the look,” Gabriel muttered. 

“Yeah. I kinda hate that look… let’s take a picture!” Sam said with a faux brightness. 

Castiel beamed. “That’s what I thought,” he nodded as he tried to figure out how he was going to do this, wondering if Sam should do it as he had the longest arms. 

Just then a woman smiled as she tapped her hand on his shoulder. “Do you need some help? I could take the picture for you if you like.”

Castiel smiled at her. “You would? That would be so kind!” He said as he handed her the phone, moving to stand by Dean. 

The woman angled the phone, making sure she got the waterfall in the back before she called for them to say cheese, which none of them did, naturally. After she had taken a few, she handed the phone back to Cas and he thanked her. 

He looked down at the phone, smiling at what he saw: Castiel stood between Dean and his brother, Sam on the other side of Gabriel as they squeezed together to all fit in the frame. They all gave soft smiles, leaning against one another like they needed it. And they did. They needed each other, all of them, as a group. Perhaps they’d only been a family for a short amount of time but they were family through and through. 

“I think it’s beautiful,” Castiel smiled. 

“Yeah. It did come out nice,” Dean admitted. 

Gabriel pulled on his brother's sleeve akin to a child. “Come on. You promised food and I’m starving,” he groaned. 

“I have to agree with the shorty,” Dean said, ignoring Gabriel’s whack about the short comment. “Haven’t eaten in much too long,” he said as he rubbed his stomach. 

“Well that’s what happens when you go for a very long, very loud, marathon all friggin’ night and forget that basic human functions are necessary for survival,” Sam said as he pushed his brother lightly. 

“Oo. Sammy comin’ at me with a hard hit,” Dean teased as he pulled his brother down for a headlock, immediately ruffling his hair and Sam telling him to knock it off. 

Castiel laughed and shook his head. He was glad to be with Sam and Dean again. Gabriel was his brother, his family. But so were the other two. They made each other better in a lot of ways. They gave each other light in an otherwise dark life. And these moments, the ones that were filled with laughter and good atmosphere were the ones that would get them through the darkness. They would get each other through it. 

And while they didn’t know what was around the corner… they had each other to get them through the darkness. Even if it was about to get a whole lot darker...

**Author's Note:**

> What?! Another installment so soon?! Clearly something is wrong! Nah, this one just kind of flowed. Happens sometimes. I hope you enjoyed it. I enjoyed writing this one after so many angsty stories. A really nice payoff was so cathartic.


End file.
